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literature
turn me into a storm
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Literature Text
i like the way he makes me feel,
a hurricane about to break,
even when he's nowhere near.
he's making me tongue tied and dizzy,
how tepid i would seem
not to fall for this boy.
all he does is flash a smile that
reaches his lose-your-thought eyes
and theres a twister in my ribcage
and a blizzard in my head,
and i'm caught in the middle.
a hurricane about to break,
even when he's nowhere near.
he's making me tongue tied and dizzy,
how tepid i would seem
not to fall for this boy.
all he does is flash a smile that
reaches his lose-your-thought eyes
and theres a twister in my ribcage
and a blizzard in my head,
and i'm caught in the middle.
i've got a heartbeat i'm sure he can hear.
cannonball- damien rice
cannonball- damien rice
© 2011 - 2024 acciopen
Comments21
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I find it interesting how you've phrased it... it has great flow, but then you bring us up short again before resuming the flow of things, which could suggest what is happening and such.
You're missing an apostrophe in the third to last line... other than that, it's not bad. I like the repetition of "and" as if you were barely clinging on in the storm there. It reminds me of Rilke.
You're missing an apostrophe in the third to last line... other than that, it's not bad. I like the repetition of "and" as if you were barely clinging on in the storm there. It reminds me of Rilke.